Computer Hysteria:   Thanksgiving
       by Berry F. Phillips   November 2004

I remember that cold autumn night on Thanksgiving, when there was a full harvest moon.  I was sitting in front of my computer, gnawing on a leftover turkey leg, silently giving thanks for my computer.

Perhaps it was just indigestion from too much Thanksgiving dinner; but I found myself in a courtroom standing before a strange judge. This judge had a computer monitor for a head and a body like an upright computer. He shouted at me in a weird mechanical voice, "You are guilty of computer abuse! I am considering capital punishment, pulling the plug on your computer permanently!"

I pleaded with the Judge to spare me, promising that I would reform and would never neglect my computer internally or externally again. I promised to, at least once a week, defrag and scandisk my computer. Further, I would make sure that I had a firewall, and an up-to-date antivirus program running. I would also regularly run anti-spyware and anti-spam programs. Further, I would run register cleaners and hard-drive cleaners.

Externally, I promised to periodically clean my system. Micro dust covers your component parts and makes your computer run hotter and can lead to premature component failure if external maintenance is not done periodically. Three months in dusty environments, and about six months in normal environments is recommended.

"Your honor, many computer users are on limited budgets and some think it is too expensive to protect their computers internally and externally. I am providing a list of freeware programs that I have tested that work very well on my system: AVG (automatically updated antivirus program) , Zone Alarm or Sygate Firewalls, Ad-Aware, Search and Destroy, SpyBlaster antispyware programs.  Dustbuster, Regcleaner, and Regclean are hard drive and registry cleaners respectively."

The Judge looked up after reading my plan. "I have decided to stay your computer execution and place you in custody of your computer. Case dismissed!"

I was awakened by the sound of the judge's gavel, and I found myself still sitting in my chair before my computer. I began downloading preventive programs for the internal systems and located my can of compressed air to clean the external components of my computer. I gave thanks that I had escaped the pulling-of-the-plug computer death sentence obviously composed by Dr. Kavorkian.

 Happy Thanksgiving from the Computer Club of Oklahoma City!

Berry Phillips is a member of the CCOKC and a regular writer for the CCOKC website and the eMonitor