Computer Hysteria: Thanksgiving?
      by Berry F. Phillips   November 2005

Thanksgiving conjures up traditional images except in the Computer Hysteria Column! I give thanks for the technical transformation of our society. Computer literacy, once only enjoyed by a select few, now is no longer an option but a necessity in our ever-evolving technical age. The Computer Club of Oklahoma City joined hands with the members of other computer clubs, from the Association of PC Users Groups, bringing together computers users to help each other advance their computer literacy.

Bill Gates, CEO, Microsoft Corporation wrote, "There will always remain in the PC industry for decades a need to pass on certain folklore and common law about technical matters that cannot be translated any other way than person-to-person. It is information at your fingertips, in the most personal way, and user groups re the best form in which it can occur."

I am reminded of the following excerpts of computer "illiteracy" from a Wall Street Journal article by Jim Carlton:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of floppies.
4. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.
5. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to FAX anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to FAX a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
6. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
7. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
8. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to the computer mouse.
9. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

Help Stamp Out Computer Illiteracy And Keep Your Computer Tech Sane, And He Too Will Have A Thanksgiving!

Berry Phillips is a member of the CCOKC and a regular writer for the CCOKC website and the eMonitor