Computer Hysteria: The Darkside      by  Berry F. Phillips     October 2005 The month of October is often associated with the "Darkside" ending in the celebration of Halloween, which dates back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in). The Celts celebrated their new year, November 1, which marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark cold winter often associated with human death. The Celts believed October 31 was when ghosts of the dead returned to earth. I remember well that it was October 31, on a foggy night of the full moon, with fingers of lightening illuminating the sky and the sound of thunder forming an audio curtain behind the wailing of the wind that sounded like the very sirens and banshees of Hell. Standing under a streetlight was a man dressed in a black cloak holding what looked like a black doctor's bag. He would have looked like the reincarnation of Jack the Ripper had it not been for the glow of the large crucifix hanging around his neck. He opened the gate that led to what many thought was a haunted Gothic mansion at the top of Skull Hill. He pushed a button for admittance and shuddered at the eerie sound of a metallic voice from a door speaker that asked him what he wanted. He replied, "I am the exorcist and have an appointment." The voice replied as the creaking electronic door opened, “Enter and abandon all hope and turn to your left and go to the study where you will find the possessed one. May God protect you." After praying, the exorcist professionally began to examine the patient immediately. He was horrified at the level of demonic possession. There were a host of demons in the form of numerous viruses, Trojan horses, worms, spyware, malware, and others. It was as though all of the demons of Hell had been unleashed on this poor pathetic computer. The exorcist knelt in prayer because even though he was a master computer technician he knew that some fixes required not only technical knowledge but also sometimes supernatural intervention. After casting out the computer demons, being careful to not get any Holy water on the computer (water and electronics do not mix), he left instructions to purchase commercial software including anti spyware, antivirus and firewall programs to protect the computer from the ravages of Hell. He also mentioned there is freeware on the Internet for spyware prevention like AdAware, Spybot, and Spyblaster. There are freeware antivirus programs like AVG, AntiVir, and Avast. Freeware firewall programs are also available like ZoneAlarm, Sygate, and Kerio. There is simply no reason today not to protect your computer from the demons of Hell. The Exorcist made the sign of the cross and vanished mysteriously into the night. When the influence of Christianity reached the Celts, it is widely believed that the Church attempted to replace the pagan Celtic festival of the dead with a celebration of saints and martyrs called All-hallows or All Saints Day on November 1. However history establishes the tradition today of the pagan celebration of All-hallows Eve followed the next day by the Christian celebration of All- hallows. Happy Halloween, from the Computer Club of Oklahoma City and the Association of PC Users Groups!   Berry Phillips is a member of the CCOKC and a regular writer for the CCOKC website and the eMonitor