Computer Hysteria: Are You "Compuliterate?"
by Berry F. Phillips September 2006
"Compuliteracy" Test (unknown author)
1. Who invented the computer? Mr. Chips, E.T., Marquis de Sade.
2. What are microchips? What a herd of micros leave on the prairie,
What you eat with a microdip, The reason you had to take all those
computer literacy courses.
3. What is a floppy disk? A painful lower-back condition, An album
that didn't sell, A great Frisbee.
4. What is the first thing you associate with computers? Bill Cosby
commercials, Eyestrain & headaches, Annoying beeps, Three tons of printout
where once there was a 3-page report, All of the above.
5. What is FORTRAN? Between 3 and 5 tran, How to get computers
excited before interface, Ridiculous.
6. What is Pascal? A leafy vegetable, A foot fungus, A city in
southern France, None of the above.
7. When you need consulting help in deciding what to do with your
computer, which organization do you think of? IBM, FBI, PLO?
8. What is the most important computer peripheral? Bill Gates,
Someone to operate the computer for you, Aspirin.
Some years ago, I was staring at a demo game computer with that blank
stare of a computer illiterate in a large computer store. I felt a tug on
my sleeve and there was a small lad who asked me rather impatiently, "Why
don't you do something?" I confessed with great difficulty being an adult
that I did not know what to do. This mini computer user said, "I will show
you because I have this game at home." He began killing monsters right and
left as I slunk out of the store in humiliation. I vowed from that day
forward I would become computer literate because no eight year old was
going to be more computer literate than I was!
I suspect you have some hands on computer experience since you are reading
my column. Computer literacy is today a necessity when entering the job
market. I remember when Time Magazine awarded the computer, their coveted
Man of the Year which dramatically illustrated the incredible impact the
personal computer has had on our contemporary society. Computer literacy
does not mean you need to know everything about a computer but you should
master the basics and understand how a computer works. I remember thinking
that just because a person used a computer in a business that they must be
computer literate. I discovered that many computer users only knew how to
do limited applications necessary for them to do their specific work.
Further, I noticed that many computer users due to lack of computer
literacy were very limited in their use of their computers. Limited
computer literacy usually translates into limited use of the computer
never experiencing the full potential of the computer and maximizing their
return on their computer investment.
What alternatives are available to accelerate one's level of computer
literacy? Basic computer courses are offered by most continuing education
programs. They are usually reasonably priced and conveniently scheduled.
They can be found in your local school district, or community college on
evenings and weekends. There are career retraining programs that often
offer computer courses through your local Labor Department Office. There
are also online courses and tutorials available and the public libraries
have computers available to their patrons with Internet access.
I have found that computer clubs are an excellent choice for developing
computer literacy since they are economical, and less theoretical and are
more focused on how to operate the computer using various applications.
Computer users helping other computer users move to the next level of
computer literacy is an incredible learning and motivating experience. All
of those who obtain computer literacy were once computer illiterates. As
they were helped to reach computer literacy, they enjoy helping others as
they were helped. You are never alone in your journey to reach computer
literacy in a computer club; there is always another member to ask a
question or to get hands on help. Many computer clubs have computer labs
as does the Computer Club of Oklahoma City,
www.ccokc.org (405-843-4300) which is also affiliated with the
national Senior Net Users Group and the Association of PC Users Groups. If
you are not in the Oklahoma City area, please contact the Association of
PC Users Groups, www.apcug.net
(800-558-6867) to check on an affiliated computer club in your area .
The sole objective of computer clubs is to help each other to reach
computer literacy. We often hear from our members who have achieved
computer literacy how when they started they wondered how they would ever
use a computer and now how they will ever get along without a computer!
The transition from computer illiteracy to literacy is truly amazing. Our
mission is to help each other reach computer literacy with a variety of
proven classes that will get you up too speed as soon as possible. The
Computer Club of Oklahoma City believes the only unintelligent question is
the unasked question! Obtaining computer literacy is not a luxury but an
absolute necessity in our rapidly evolving technological society.
I hope that I remain "compuliterate" because those eight year olds are
getting more and more "compuliterate" especially the older I get!
Berry Phillips is a member of the CCOKC and a regular writer for the CCOKC website and the eMonitor